Hard of Understanding

Just read that too much and/or too little sleep doubles the risk of cardiovascular disease.

Get the feeling that you can't win?

Hell hath no fury like an MP: especially not if you're the Bank of England chief Mervin King and the MPs in question are Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling.

It would seem that they have got their knickers in a twist over King's handling of the Northern Rock fiasco.

Let me sum it up as easily as I can:

King said a few weeks ago that the job of the Bank of England was NOT to bail out banks for the sake of it; as he put it, no free lunches for investors who make bad bets.

All banks are required to stress test their business plans often (by stress test I mean put the worst case scenario of what might happen on the markets and how it might affect the bank's cash flow)

So, Northern Rock haven't properly checked their cash flow and King stood by what the Bank of England is there for.

Bravo!!!!! It's about time that I saw someone in almost public office have the courage of his convictions and stand by them.

But of course, someone is going to suffer for this whole mess.

Go figure!

Just been online to buy a couple of parts for my car (couldn't be bothered trying to drive down to my local specialist, car really pissing me off!!!!!)

Whilst I was mooching around EuroCarParts I was surprised by the detail offered to spare parts in comparison to the detail offered to fiddly, fuck abouty things to make your ride your own. You know, the automotive equivalent to pissing at the end of your garden.

It then reminded me of the tosser who passed by work the other day in his fully kitted out Saxo, lowered, big exhaust, "banging" (whatever that means) sound system, with the distinctive sound of a 1.1 petrol engine struggling under the pressure that it was being put under.

I was embarrassed on his behalf - it was the equivalent of giving a lawnmower a spoiler and go-faster stripes. And he looked a twat. I was stood having a cig with one of my crew who has a Impreza and he was killing himself laughing at the level of effort that rent-a-scally had gone to try and hide his undersized manhood............. sorry........ engine.

Ok, so my approach to vehicles tends to be more practical, but only to an extent.
- I refuse to have more than my tax disc and rear-view mirror blocking my view out front.
- I hate passengers
- I wash my car, because the bird-shit damages the paint otherwise
- The most expensive luxury I bought for it was posh windscreen wash
- I take more pride in my driving ability than how "phat" my car looks

But on the other hand:
- I point blank refuse to own anything smaller than a saloon car - they just drive better
- I bought my latest car cos I thought it looks good (and in my defence I've been told it suits me)

Suppose I'm not that different after all - I just want it ready made.

I am neither an emotional nor nostalgic person (a couple of weeks ago I sat by the freshly filled in grave of a man whom I came to know and deeply respect without shedding a tear)

But I have one local thing that really bothers me: I mean, REALLY bother me.

I am a child of Granadaland; unless you are of a certain age you will not understand that.

To the rest of you, I grew up with ITV before it became ITV, I grew up with Granada. And believe you me it was something to be proud of in Manchester (not in Liverpool but that's another story) Let me tell you exactly what I'm on about whilst I demolish another bottle of wine and listen to the Prodigy.

Due to various political, geographic and physical issues ITV, when it was first formed, was intended to be a regional affair. A company was born into Manchester called Granada who quickly built a huge studio complex in the city centre and broadcast to the North and then the North West (yes I researched it and now I'm paraphrasing!!!)

Granada is my media hero, and not without good reason. It was interested in quality, not quantity and at the expense of continuity etc the Manchester based company produced some of the best television in the world and, in my mind at least, put Manchester on a global footing.

The BBC has a captive audience, ILR (with the exception of 96.2 The Revolution) has never been much cop and channel 4's domestic output has never changed. The internet does not even come close to the innovation and forward thinking that Sidney Bernstein's company had in the late 1950's.

But Granada (not ITV or Channel 3) had a proud following. Granada was the North and for at least 20 years the term Granadaland was used to describe the NorthWest as well as Granada Studios Tour. It produced the best television (apparently Granada is still a benchmark today for certain production) and every resident of North West England, when they saw the continuity and idents of the likes of Central, TVS or LWT (my childhood memories) might have felt some envy at only having an inanimate "G" with an arrow sticking through it as the regional ident, but it was soon replaced by the pride at seeing the iconic "from the north" G at the end of the credits.

Nowhere else would you see output like:
Cracker
World in Action
Prime Suspect
Brideshead Revisited

In fact we'll never see things made like that ever again by a commercial broadcaster.

But what I love most about Granada is this:

The complex that is Granada Studios: it was something of awe and inspiration to me when I was growing up, and at night its' bright red lights shining out across Manchester epitomised how I viewed both Granada and Television; glamourous, bright, loud, different, magical and entertaining.

Even now when I pass the complex, especially in the evening I still get a buzz from seeing its' 1960's bright red signs shining out its' identity across to Salford. It is everything that you would expect in a television complex (BBC Manchester is something of a let down!!!)

But now I have read, to my great horror, that ITV PLC (the people that used to be Granada but got greedy and don't have the IBA to answer to anymore thanks to Iron Maggie and her 1990 Broadcasting Act) want to demolish the Quay St complex in favour of a faceless complex on Salford Quays.

It is bizarre, some of my closest friends could pass on and I would be upset but detached, but I could not bear to see this building demolished. It is still a castle of wonders, a mysterious place where the magic of television is still born, but most of all it is the only building in Manchester that has contributed to so much of the city's rise without even trying!

The people inside simply did their job, but made Manchester greater at the same time: although it will come as absolutely no consolation, Manchester's gain was Liverpool's loss. If Granada had been in Liverpool then there would have been a very different story.

Destroying what helped make modern Manchester would be as big a crime a demolishing the Tower of London, Red Square or Sydney Opera House. It may sound dramatic, but Granada Studios did more for Manchester than any other purpose built building, including the Libraries or Town Hall!

The Granada Television complex is Manchester's architectural equivalent to Tony Wilson (and we would miss both equally!)

Fairly soon I will have a redundant HomeHub.

Haven't decided whether it should meet a sticky end (filmed of course) or whether I should another use for it.

Fear not homehub fans I have a back-up hub in case the worst should happen (don't know why BT sent me 2!!!)

Suggestions?

The straw that finally broke the camel's back.

I have faced an uphill struggle with the telecoms giant since that fateful day that I decided that they must be better than UKOnline (on that day I thought anyone must be better than UKOnline!!!)

It took 5 weeks, 3 misplaced orders, 6 hours of phone calls, high blood pressure and a great deal of aggravation to finally get the broadband service that should have taken 5 days.

Since then I've made 4 requests for them to spell my name correctly as I can't really use my e-mail address until they do! Still not sorted.

My only reason for choosing BT was for BT Vision, otherwise I'd probably have chosen someone cheaper. So, as the dust settled and I found out that the service isn't actually that bad (once you get it!!!) I placed the order for Vision.

First engineer's visit - no engineer. He rang outside of the appointment window just as I was on my way to work to ask if he could still come round. Not happy, made this clear to their service department.

Service department all apologies and arranged another visit for today plus a refund for installation.

So, today comes round; I'm no mug so I decided to ring Vision just to be sure,
"Is the engineer definately coming round today?"
"Errrrrrrrrrrrr, no. We made a mistake in processing the order the engineer has no knowledge of this visit."
"Customer options please."

I then got transferred to the cockiest most arrogant son of a bitch you could ever hope to speak to. His name was Thomas and he works in the Newcastle area (unprofessional I know but I don't care!) who told me that I was to be held to my contract, cancellation fees etc etc, no means no. Twat.

Got fairly upset at this point, the little vein on my head was pounding, explosion followed.

Basically he was telling me that they had failed to provide part the service that I requested (s. 2A + 2B of the Sale and Supply of Goods Act 1994 (c.35)) but tried to charge me as he claimed that Vision and Broadband were 2 seperate companies.

Asked who else I could speak to - got put through to Broadband Customer Services.

Went off my head, forget reasonable - these bastards have been grinding me down for months. Was asked to calm down so that they could actually understand what I was saying (maybe got a little carried away, but at least didn't swear this time!)

They listened - and they finally agreed with me - woohoo!!!!!!

Was told that I would have to speak to Customer Options again (booooooooooo) but just to agree with whatever they say. Didn't like the sound of this.

My new best friend then said that she'd put a note on my account (wouldn't like to think how many notes there are now!!!!!) and that they would foot any cancellation charges.

RESULT!!!!!!!!!

Got a HomeHub going cheap

Let's see how Sky do now

Just read this article about how a guide to UK Tax Law has almost doubled in size since its' launch in 2001. Reason being the increasing complexity in Tax Law.

And the lunatic responsible for this increased complexity has just been put in charge of the country.

I'm not surprised, the morons at work that we can't sack we promote to get out of harm's way.

Is it just me who wants to bring back Busman's Holiday?